quotes

One, whose mind vibrates in sync with the Universe – shimmers…

c: Nina KO 6/26/2012

I suppose, the things we talk about the most, get moldy, and we never observe what we preach, because after extensive use of the words they lose their essence.

C: Nina KO 6/29/2012

That which was born from a spark, death will protect from the wind until the last moment…

c: Nina KO 6/30/2012

drops

drops

she was lonely,

like an ancient bug

mummified in a drop of amber,

      cold

like the flower in the rain.

she slept in a house  without walls,

 a frame without a photo, anything can fit:

a sky, a smile, a shimmering dream.

but, instead, it was drops of rain

for her.

the wet ground for a bed.

she slept half drowned.

the rain swung from her eyelids,

drop by drop,

 innocent, salty, cold

to her cheeks like blades,

bitter taste on her lips-

death condensed in a drop,

lethal, like a viper’s bite

c:Nina K Orlovskaya 6/24/2012  

self reflection

self reflection

my heart knows no separation with life,

my mind enmeshed in its mirror image,

it’s all about my skin.

I wished  it would be a sheet of ice, when

I dunked my legs into boiling water.

I wish that the kiss on my lips

would be air sealed,

and a rainbow would shimmer

between my eyes and the rain.

it only counts what separates your skin from air

c:Nina K Orlovskaya 6/23/2012 

one rainy day

one rainy day

she stared into my eyes from the wall of rain:

pupil to pupil, darkness into darkness.

my heart sank low, somewhere below

my ribcage.  in an instant, pending doom,

the meaning of it, was sucked in

into my empty chest.

but I didn’t blink…

she walked to the river,

and before stepping into the water,

she turned around and whispered

“ I’ll wait for you here, on a rainy day,

don’t be late”

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/22/2012

Fear

fear was all,

it was liquid in the beginning,

filling my lungs with every breath,

starting from the first, when I coughed out

amniotic fluid, gasping for life.

what did I know!?

I reached with my hand to touch,

all I found was fear, it soaked

through my skin: dark, cold, roaring,

like nothing before, like nothing after.

I was blind back then. I saw the darkness

and nothing more…

if there was God and salvation,

it came to me in the form of sight,

it shrouded me

in a cocoon of comfort for a short while, 
until the time
I would have to go 
where I come from –

separation and fear

c:Nina K Orlovskaya 6/21/2012 

fading away

fading away

the last hue of a sunset

fades into the darkness.

the last whiff of a broken flower

fades in the air.

a memory fades

behind my back.

it’s my time to fade away…

perhaps another day, another smile,

another love, another life…

if the past wouldn’t find me anymore

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/20.2012

burned letter

burned letter

I will take five words from my lips and write you a letter. I’ll put it in a mail box this afternoon, or, instead, drop it in a fire on a rainy day.

there’s not much of a flame

when smoke mixed with water,

unlike fog,  it is more like patches of shadows,

the memory of a tree, grown on the cemetery ground:

roots wrapped around bones, memories entwined.

…cat’s eyes glisten, green at night,

like Colombian  emeralds…

smoke, like snakes,  slither low, mixing with mud,

hiding in the grass.

the touch of brass on the slope of a  hill, sun’s finest kiss,

mark of the higher ground,

a new grave for the memories and rain

and for the smoke to rise

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/20/2012

just a statement

just a statement

the fraction of a broken glass,

cut light into its parts.

a rainbow of colors,

spilled over my morning.

I step on it, as I walked down the stairs.

there’s nothing more, only a broken glass

and a simple statement, wrapped

in a smile of the rising sun.

most things in life are meaningless,

just routines and accidents

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/19/2012

the shores are adrift

the shores are adrift

my knees to my chin,

eyelids heavy,

eyes shut,

mind wrapped into a milky cocoon,

 I’m crumbled in the ball of flesh.

darkness bridges itself into more darkness,

leaping the walls of empty chambers:

always filling, hungry for more,

 always empty.

     

blood, dark,

like a widow’s soul, like a wing

of the raven, ripped by the twister,

pressured in a dervish whirl, where

even death is helpless.    the pressure

of high command carry it on,

 beyond.

the forms are  broken, molds unfit,

salt chewed the anchor from my ankle,    only

the chain, a few links, dangles like a pendulum

of a broken clock, lost in time….

the child’s voice from afar “ I am thirsty!”

“there is a glass of water…” I replied from my grave,

he cried “ I can’t drink it, it was made from the ocean”

I opened my eyes and let the world

flow in,   

 again

c: Nina K Orlovskaya   6/16/2012 

my fairy tale

my fairy tale

a small world of the crawling creatures

beneath my feet,    my first fairy tale.

it was a gift beyond my wants, my needs,

beyond my grasp.       I was only 3 back then,

when I discovered the ants’ colony.

in time,

it become a memory trap,

setting me up for a lifelong quest,

in search         of a fairy tale,

I remember exists.

I have found, apples by the apple tree,

some ripe, some not,

water in the valley, snow on the mountain top,  

….demises and rises. 

many things I ran after: stalked a bird,

 in the sky, feather by feather,

 set the traps by my bed,         never caught

 a dream , not even a shadow

I keep an inventory for what it was,

the ants’ colony on the larger scale…

lately, I don’t pick apples and don’t

chase birds,

I let my dreams roam wild and free…

 the world, from the corner of my eyes,

is a heartbeat, a breath  

…untouchable.          my fairy tale

c:Nina K Orlovskaya@6/16/2012 

I need more ice

I need more ice

my heart served in a glass

over the ice,

cold,

while my mind,

is a delirious brandy

swirl.

I think, I am a poet,      I must,

on occasions get silly drunk

and fall in love frequently,

especially

when my capricious Muse

left me for a horror story writer,

especially, when

for the shitty ones….

on the other hand, I may

 just need more ice in the glass

to freeze  my tongue

c:Nina K Orlovskaya @6/14/2012

me and a Coyote (shamanic series)

an owl dreams for the night to never end,

a sparrow wishes the day to stay forever.

a cookie, never wants to be eaten

but live life in the cookie jar.   

a boulder, drowned  in the river,

dreams of a flow, of wind, of a sunset…  

I  don’t know what I want.

I’ll go and find a Coyote,

this is the surest thing to do

if you don’t know…

although, because I’m  lost, it is unwise to ask for directions,

and not because he is a trickster, but because  he is lost too. 

     

sometimes, I find him,

sitting under the canopy of a tree

and singing a never ending song, for days and nights,

or dancing in roundelay.

I find the owl and sparrow clapping with delight.

I would not interrupt…

and other times

I find him lingering in the meadow, making sure,

all the grass grows in the right direction.

sometimes, he  lets  me  grow with the grass

in the right direction.

while I am growing, he  tells me  tales.

on one occasion, he told me his dream,                     

where I  was a stone, drowned  in the river…

he howled from laughter and  dropped

an empty cookie jar in the water

and oh, sweet cookie heaven,

he let me drink…

he let me  flow

 to the world of the setting suns,

while the owl and  the sparrow and the cookie

where clapping from the bank of the river

and wind rippled the waves

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/12/2012 revised

all disappearing shred-by-shred

all disappearing shred-by-shred

the silver mist, a breath of the moon,

last will of the night,

veiled dreams of the lake.        the pines,

boneless, wet, sleepy still,

float by the shores.               the frogs’ cry,

about the last night,  about  something insignificant,

call the local birds

to celebrate the sunrise in reverent symphony.

an ancient ritual- echoes of times.

the essence of the night, entrapped

into the droplets of dew,

roll down the green blades of grass

into the open mouth of the ground.

a morning disappearing

shred-by-shred

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/20/2012

someone said

someone said “ love conquers all”

 someone else said “love is a dog from hell”

I say—

in love I was, an agreement between body and mind

gravity couldn’t  grasp, couldn’t  touch my shadows,

no power in the world could hold me down.

 I wasn’t sad often       and when I was,

 it went unnoticed,

 until later,

until the blade cut deep, between my shoulders.

there was no pain, just drops of blood

reminding me of  rose petals: blown by the wind,

 in the mud, in the garbage can,

not attractive, not needed anymore.

…exhausted, still afloat, alone,     cold moon, half drowned

in the liquid salt,  for  company,

it was not a grave yet, but Death

winked from the darkness of her sockets.

the sunrise parted far, lost in the past,

left behind, in the other world,       without me.

I drifted far, crossing forbidden lines and horizons… .

someone in a boat offered a ride

for the price of my soul.

it was a bargain then,

 I took  it… .

out of balance,

my mind and body wasn’t in sync anymore,

in disagreement, canceling each other into oblivion,

 gravity won, pulled me down the path

of delirious slumber,

 fate pushed me, face down.

I missed the puddle of vomit,    just a slimmer.

next time I

may not be so lucky, but instead

I’ll land there, in the middle,

inhale deep,   

suffocating misery into permanent darkness

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/9/12 

the morning

the morning

            washed the night into day,

with rain and thunder.

gray mist over the lake,

water mixed with the ashes

from the last night’s bonfire,

where we burned our memories,

ritually,

over the grave of our feelings.

we avoided to talk about them,

instead,

we shared fictional stories,

as people always do,

at night,

by the fire

c: Nina K Orlovskaya@6/7/2012

memories

the  dark depth of my mind,

a grave—

frozen nights and, sometimes,

 foggy days….

my past snaps cement bracelets

over my ankle.

a gasp, a grasp,

with my last breath,

like a stone, I

go down

c: Nina K Orlovskaya@ 6/6 2012

the essence of you

like a tear,

like rain,

like an ocean,

you flow through my heart,

my veins,

escape through my pores,

reach the clouds

and rain,

once again

c: Nina K Orlovskaya @6/2/2012 

lily pads for a snack

the peanuts on the picnic bench

peacefully rest,

until

an obnoxious snake

slithered for a snack.

the mongoose-guard,

darted

from the shades, lightening like…

the snake,

in rags...

lily pads

not yellow

but bloody-red

c: Nina K Orlovskaya 6/2/2012

the fragments of you and me

the empty sky

rings.

a name, syllabus, letters…

magnificence of your existence

in fragments:

a rosebud,

an apple,

a tangerine

and I

c: Nina K Orlovskaya @6/2/2012

while i can

I wouldn’t wait

until you’re gone

and knock the doors

that locked.

I wouldn’t wait…

and hit the walls

between here and nowhere

until I bleed

mute

deaf

when I’d be gone,

I wouldn’t leave behind

unwritten Russian novel,

when the human rises to its heights

with only reason,

to drop,

deep,

echoing hell

through the minds of living.

I want to tell you now,

while we both are here,

while I can

-I love you-

c: Nina K Orlovskaya revised