when I close my eyes

I close my eyes

the stone walls kiss my lips

yellow leaves of heaven

shower my skin with golden dreams

when a butterfly flies away

the flower dies

 

in the deadly embrace of permanency

and a gray smoke rises

over the grave of my heart

~~~~~

я     закрываю глаза

каменные стены

целуют мои губы

желтые райские  листья 

осыпают мою кожу

золотом мечты

когда бабочка улетает

цветок умирает

в смертельном объятии постоянства

и серый дым

поднимается

над могилой моего сердца

~c:NKO12/27/12

fringes

fringes

the smile, painted with red

 over the clown-like face of the day,  

twists my bones…

after the day turns into ashes,

I stay with fireflies in the fields, reptilian-eyed,

with  mice, a  night bird,  a pale shadow

chipped from the sad face of the moon.

the night doesn't permit lies.

fake smiles disappear without an echo,

words whispered, sounds aren't permitted.

even the wind wraps itself around the stillness.

sleep sticks to my fingertips,

dreams flow like  thick honey in my veins

a twig breaks, it tears the silence apart,

there’s something new and luminous at the fringes

~c:NKO12/22/12 

love is a curse

when I was an owl

I looked down 

and saw

wind dancing with pine

he counted her needles

one by one

love is a curse

it plucked blue from my eyes

I must be asleep

 ~c:NKO12/17/12

again, there's night

again, there’s night

shattered the last mirror

over my grave.

waves of silent prayer

frozen on my lips.       a kiss

is always a touch of death,

the eternity, we are longing for.

I saw it in your eyes.

I felt it in your heart.

love wounded,

bleeds words

and grass will grow green

tomorrow -

 at the sunrise

c:NKO12/12/12

twisted

I twisted my wrists

I twisted my ankles

I tied my tongue in knots

I tossed my thoughts

into the dark, where

not a spark exists,

not even a quark of the spark,

where the lizards play wizards,

sharks

drink oceans until drunk

and roll what left of it

backwards. where?

 do I find words

that would unlock

my mouth

untie my tongue

and call the order

into my world

~c:NKO@12/8/12  

desert is cold at nights

desert is cold at nights.

the cold

brush…

black wings

over the skin.

the sky

barren…

not a ripple

of a smile

in the eyes.      I run

until breathless

until blood drips

from my nostrils

and my heart

breaks free

from all the agreements

~c:NKO12/6/12

nowhere

where…

 it was slowly rising above the dome

of our night.  our eyes worshiped.

tingling of our words entangled.

vibrating touch on our lips.

the ground drifted away, swallowing

 the falling tides. our eyes soaked,

sifted through the sand to the core,

evaporated in the hot,

repeating cycles like heartbeats.

drowned, unknown, drowsy.

the remnants are sailing into the fog.

 rivers static,

locked within the walls of gray.

nowhere gnaws 

c:NKO11/30/12 

i keep the door open for you

I keep the door open for you.

black olives served for dinner.

the memory of the sunset, scattered

over the orchards of Mediterranean.

grapes, chilled on ice,

 sweet, intoxicating

 in the mouth of a gardener and a god.

water in my palms.

it soaks through the skin of my fingers:

molecules are invisible like a sleeping wind,

drops – a fragrant breath of the violets in my garden.

 I’ll keep the door open

until all is gone

~c:NKO12/2/12

dreams

dreams,

 creatures of darkness,

cold clammy fingers, colorless skin,

slither

close to the ground,

 almost afloat  above the graves.

suddenly

over my sunken eyes,

pale – gray, like a kiss

 of death

on the lips of a dying mutant. 

c:NKO11/12/21

after all

after all,  those rains,

I learned to love, stopped,

the sun came out.

and I don’t  know how

to live without

an umbrella. I don’t know

how to touch cascading silk,

how to hold a butterfly

on my fingertips

when the wind blows soft kisses

I would learn a new language

that  could be spoken only

at the moments when

the last light

 

dies outside of my window,

only

when I drink words

from your lips

like raindrops ~c:NKO 11/11/12

and again

and again

it’s cold and windy here

branches dropped

frozen claws

in the snow

I split the second

in sixty splinters

I count them

with intervals

I let it go

 slow

like  memory

of a broken bone

c:NKO@11/5/12

this is all I want to say

it isn't me, who

makes grass green, snow white, rain wet,

for you.

your feet listen

mournful whisper

of autumn leaves.

wind tells me tales I don’t want to hear,

I drown in deafness 

that was before the memory,

wind brought the rain, 

again,

handful, against my window.

sitting on the floor,

knees to my chin,

I hum a song.  stillness stretches

between four walls.

gray mist prowls outside the locked door

c: NinaKO@10/29/12 

you know

You know

You know how to swim:

surrounded by ages, gray hair, lost lovers, failures,

 blood, poisoned by shallow breathing,

ribs tightened around your heart,

surrounded by others,

younger, more adaptable, faster.

 You know how to dive deeper than most of them,

coldblooded.

You escape the tentacles of depth;

 you rest at the bottom. 

You swallow nitrogen by portions, like medicine,

 rarely crossing the line when it becomes poison.

You know how to synchronize your heartbeats with the environment.

 You know how to surface.

…until the day

when you choose to stay at the ocean floor,

alone.              c: NKO@10/27/2012

i like when it rains

I like when it rains,

 it smells like a promise, while in the air, 

before touching the ground.

I like when it rains in the evenings,

and rainbows can’t disperse their feathers

over the blue.

I like when it stings

when you  run the fields in the spring,   

 barefooted

and step on a bee.

I like when spring is basking in the lush greenery

of the low grass.

I like falling in love,      

adrift

like an asteroid,

doomed in that what is attractive.

I like when wind counts autumn leaves,

whispering digits, longer than my fingernails.

I like when a blue bird visits my dreams after the rain,

in the spring, and stays with me till the fall.

I like when we count days together

c:NKO@10/20/12

it's difficult

it’s difficult to fall asleep tonight

the bandages got stuck in flesh

where the skin was torn.

I whisper...

bricks are deaf.

walls are getting drunk

off moonlight.

cold wind scribbles

on the branches of the tree.

the night prowls softly, like a cat,

somewhere

above the curve of globe.

an icy rain is nailing stars to the cement.

I count up the stars in heavens.

I am halfway through

c:NKO 10/12/12

at 4 am

at 4 am

I am reading an internet article

“10 health benefits of Pumpkin seeds”

nothing worthwhile, if you think about it.

I suppose it could be worse.

some of my male friends

immersed in the porn sites at this time,

activities more pitiful in my female point of view.

a few feet away from my open window

the neighbor’s dog barks:

probably is his sleep,

probably in a nightmare,

chasing away evil spirits and monsters,

from his masters.

the bastards forgot again

to let him in for the night.

the article lists a few  benefits

for your prostate? ok…! I read more.

it is a good source of fiber, if you want to be regular.

I think, from the needed quantity,

you’ll  puke regularly too.

furthermore, it is a good source of protein.

protein? they mean it, all right!

what crazy shit for crazies to read at 4 am,

I make a note 

 - stop at the grocery store tomorrow.  

10/5/12NKO

a tiresome day

a tiresome day

I waited

on the side of a dusty road.

oh, what a tiresome day!

the sun burned a hole in the sky,

above my head,

marking the middle of the day.

its long lashes dried my face.

my breath

was scorched like a desert wind, marveling

around the Bedouin’s caravan.

suddenly,

the buzzing sound from afar

started to measure the distance

in ever increasing waves.

a dark twister swept by

raising the clouds of gray dust,

wrapping loneliness in cocoons,

leaving them behind,

on the side of a dusty road

c:NKO10/4/12

another day

another day

I invented this day,

I imagined you and me,

 in the middle of it,  by the shores,

 we walk west through the cold sand,

 pines darkening nearby,  wind whispers to the ocean,

waves rushing away,

low clouds ready to burst with tears…

and everything is so incredibly boring, dead.

the sunset

never drifts into the night, the waves stay frozen, still

 pines smell like paper

and we are just  shimmering shadows, somewhere

 between light and darkness.

nothing really matters, when you lived it all, remember it all

when the air, you breathe, condensed  and heavy

from the rituals and sacrificial fires

and your blood is as old as the soul of  a burned tree,

hovering over the forest. when your heart is as vacant

as an empty shell sunken in the sands where

pearls are asleep, curled up in embryos,  when you are roaming

somewhere… nowhere, between the clouds and grass

as if you are a feather in search of a bird, when you see

where your ashy bones, stripped of all memories, rest.

Death laughs from the fringes of my mind

 I’m busy inventing another day

c: Nina K Orlovskaya@9/24/2012

between the pages 7 and 8

dim moonlight breaks my window,

sifts through my skin.

the remnants of broken glass,

arrows of unspoken words,

dart in my veins:

heavier than iron

saltier than salt.

unfinished thoughts - mystery’s remnants.

broken sentences.

and a leaf dries

between the pages 7 and 8

c:Nina K Orlovskaya@9/20/2012

fairies

fairies collected colors  of my lashes:

green, yellow and blue,

 into separate bottles.

my eyes are pale as distilled water

and tasteless like rain.  don’t

untangle the kiss knotted on my lips

c: Nina K orlovskaya@9/19/2012

cold

cold

cold…,

solemnly flying raven hoards it

between his feathers, 

snowflakes crow out of his beak:

 swirling,  falling down

on the yellowness

of the sleeping dog.

cold…

a trembling moon

 pillows beneath dog’s dreams

all day

 chilled mist chews darkness,

breathing huskily

in the anticipation

of  a slow moving blizzard.

cold…

the clear glass of a fishbowl

separates eyes from winter.

one icy breath,

one frozen world,

one delirious dream

between you and me.

cold

c:Nina K Orlovskaya @9/17/2012

looking at the photo

(looking at the photo)

dreams,

softly float

from darkness to the surface

and then again

sink into the night,

wither away with time,

in the past..

if time allows

and eyes meet with eyes,

the flow of time will stops.

but cruelty of time keeps eyes away.

the touch is cold and bloodless

c:NKO @9/16/2012