the time loops

 …one of my meditations suddenly drifted

 in to the strangest vision.

I found myself in the air, hovering over an unknown city.

I searched for someone familiar, a man.

 his voice was vibrating, trapped  in my head

and he was wearing a pink shirt.

I followed the echo…

    

the city was empty, he was nowhere to be found.

I panicked, extended my search

and found him back in time:        

pink shirt, 20 years younger, his smile,

other significant and less important things

 were radiating out of him like beams of light from a small star,

maybe a baby star….

he was wounded, unaware, bleeding

with that special kind of blood – yellow---

I ran toward him. at first, I tried to form

a time bubble around him, where I could snatch him

from the flow of time and patch

 his wounds, held him tight to my chest,

the kind of thing a mother would do.    

                               but then

 I remembered, I know him 20 years later,

 not bleeding anymore, healed his own way

with many tight scars, smiling most of the times

and in love with life.         

                  and I let him be,

because you cannot change the times ahead,

 that had already happened,

but you can change  the ones yet to come.

In a moment of weakness, I turned around,

looked in his eyes, and I was trapped

like everyone would be, who looks back…

I was mesmerized, drowned in his eyes, his smile…

we talked, and talked, and talked, we ended up knowing each other.

he was not aware that I was from the times ahead.

 I saw his scars, in the times ahead, they were getting soft and elastic,

as I held him close to my heart. and his presence once more,

in the times that were ahead were felt,  faint at first

 and then stronger with each  breath.

 I was waiting until it flooded

the streets of the city like before, 20 years in the past,

and we remembered

5/12/Nina K Orlovskaya 5/12/2012